Open Your Eyes
by Bananas102
Summary: Sam gets struck blind and soon reveals things that Dean never knew about his little brother.
1. Chapter 1

Eyesight. The hundreds of little pixels showing colors and shapes, identifying objects and processing visual situations. But without eyesight, it's black. The pixels are there, but there is no color to show, nothing to see. Dark and deep and never-ending blackness.

* * *

It had started as an ordinary hunt. But it always did, didn't it?

Tracking a warlock, and they had located him inside a building. Sam and Dean would go in on opposite sides. They were set up and were ready for action. And they sprung.

Sam opened the door, and stepped inside as Dean did the same on the other side of the building.

It was fairly dark and dusty, the ground made of concrete and worn down by shoes carrying dust and dirt. The walls were breaking down, and it was amazing the building hadn't collapsed yet.

Sam hadn't gotten 10 feet into the building before a hooded figure erupted from the shadows, clamped one hand over Sam's eyes.

* * *

Dean got in and as if on cue, he heard Sam's scream. His blood ran cold, adrenaline and panic flushing through his body like a tsunami. He ran toward the scream.

"Sam?!"

Sam was against the wall, and the warlock had his hand over his eyes, bright green light seeping through his fingers. Sam's face was contorted in pain.

Dean fired off about three bullets before the warlock turned around and gave him a glare before looking down at it's chest, where crimson stains were seeping through it's robe.

It raised his head and gave Dean a smile before crumpling to the ground. Sam let out a groan as the warlock released his face and he slid down the wall to fall to the floor.

Dean ran to Sam's side.

"Sammy? Come on, Sam, answer me. Dammit, Sam!"

Sam's eyes fluttered slightly, before opening. Dean's breath caught in his throat.

Sam's eyes seemed to be covered with some sort of grayness. His minty green eyes could only be seen if you strained hard enough to see them.

"D'n?"

"Yeah. You okay?"

Sam's brows furrowed in confusion and Dean didn't miss the flicker of panic.

"Sam?"

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I-I can't see."

* * *

"Hey. How ya doin', kiddo?"

"M'fine, Dean."

Dean snorted. "Sure you are."

Sam glowered in his seat. "Dean, it's that big of a deal," he started softly.

Dean scowled and exhaled loudly, as if this was all some annoying routine that always happened. Which it kind of was.

"Not a big deal, Sammy? What, are you nuts? You're blind!"

"I know," Sam murmured.

Dean softened at Sam's tone, but that still didn't calm him down completely, but he figured he needed to try to stay calm.

"We're going to figure this out, okay? Just like we always do."

Sam nodded.

* * *

Dean got out of the car, jaw clenching at the way Sam flinched and his brow furrowed in confusion, traces of fear etched on his face.

He hated seeing Sam so helpless.

Sam reached out tentively to touch the car door. He patted it down gently until he found the handle.

Dean opened the door and Sam frowned slightly.

"Need a hand?"

Sam sighed and got up, feeling his way out of the car on his own.

"Dean, if this is how it's going to be, I need to figure out how to do this on my own."

Dean scowled again. "You're _not _staying blind, Sammy."

Sam pursed his lips. "You don't know that."

Dean rolled his eyes in irritation. "Yeah? Well I know I'm going to try to fix this."

"What...What if you can't?"

Dean looked at Sam disbelievingly.

"Sam, what is with you?"

Sam shrugged, and Dean could basically see the mental walls being pulled up again.

Dean just let Sam, for the most part, go inside the motel room on his own.

Sam's knee hit the corner of a chair with a thud and he winced slightly.

Dean didn't say a word, just moved it over.

Sam found a bed and sat down.

Dean looked back at Sam, wishing he could make that look of loneliness and sadness just disappear off his face.

He dialed up someone he hoped could help.

"Bobby? We got a problem."


	2. Chapter 2

"And Sam is getting all 'what if this is how it's gonna be'"

Sam looked a little hurt by that, but Dean didn't notice.

"Are you sure?"

Pause.

"Do it then."

Dean hung up.

"Bobby didn't find anything, did he?" Sam asked quietly.

Dean didn't answer.

Sam sighed. "Dean.."

"Don't _Dean _me. We're going to fix this."

"And if we can't?"

"Not gonna happen."

Sam was silent.

Dean felt like punching something.

"You didn't deserve this, Sammy," he said quietly.

Sam huffed and shrugged. "Honestly, I've been kind of expecting it."

Dean head snapped up. "What?"

Sam inhaled. "I've been expecting something like this to happen."

Dean didn't know what to say.

"Why?"

Sam tilted his head so he was 'looking' down.

"Hey. Sammy," Dean said gently. "Why?"

"Because," Sam murmured.

"Okay. Because why?"

"I deserve it, I guess."

Dean had a pained expression on his face.

"Uh-Why..why would you think that?"

Sam shrugged.

"Sammy."

"I dunno. I guess 'cause this kind of stuff seems to happen to me."

Dean exhaled.

"What do you mean, Sam?"

Sam looked uncomfortable and he figeted. "Hell, demon blood, demon powers. This just doesn't surprise me."

"God, Sam. You can't think that way."

"It's kind of hard not to," Sam muttered.

Dean frowned deeply.

"What do you mean?"

Sam raised his head to look at where he knew Dean was sitting.

"The Cage, Dean," he whispered.

Dean shifted.

"W-What about it, Sammy."

Sam bit his lip and didn't answer.

"Sammy?"

"Nothin'."

Dean swore to himself menatlly.

But this wasn't exactly huge news. His brother still had nightmares and woke up screaming on occasion, even long after Cas had taken the scars off of Sam in the mental ward.

With a jolt, Dean realized something: Sam had never talked about what happened. Ever. Even when he was soulless, he didn't talk about it.

Which made Dean wonder about what happened down there.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean blinked sleepily. His eyes slowly slid across the room and then he blinked again.

He knew something had woken him.

But he didn't know what.

After a few seconds, he bolted upright.

Sam was screaming.

Dean pushed the fog of sleep out of his head and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

His eyes zeroed in on Sam in the dark.

He was thrashing.

He was screaming.

"Stop...please!"

Dean tugged on the light and knelt at the edge of Sam's bed, shaking him a little.

Sam let out a bloodcurdling scream and bolted up right, panting and shaking.

"Sam, hey, you're okay," Dean said softly, his eyes searching Sam's face.

"..D-D'n?"

Sam was trembling.

"Yeah, Sam. I'm here."

Sam turned towards the sound of his voice and got a warm, reassuring hand rubbing his back.

He exhaled shakily.

"What was your dream about?"

"...Just some stuff."

"Like what?"

Sam shrugged, and tried desperately to stop shaking.

"Sammy."

"It's w-wasn't anything important."

"I say it is. Come on, Sammy, throw me a bone. What was your dream about?"

Sam was silent for a minute.

"L-Lucifer," he mumbled.

Dean swallowed hard.

"The Cage?"

Sam flinched slightly, which confirmed it to Dean.

"What was he doing?"

Sam's eyes went wide and he started shaking his head, his eyes clouding with tears.

He kept shaking his head no.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. You don't want to tell me, that's fine."

Sam swallowed hard.

"Let's get back to bed, 'kay?"

Sam tensed, but nodded.

Dean started to move but Sam said, "Can you stay? Over here, I mean."

Dean was a bit surprised by this, but he replied, "Yeah. Okay, Sammy."

They laid side by side and soon Dean fell asleep. But Sam did not.

* * *

The first time it happened, Sam was riding shotgun in the Impala.

They were driving, and Dean heard a choking gasp come from his right.

He glanced at Sam, and slammed on the brakes, pulling off to the side of the road.

San's face was contorted with fear and pain.

Dean went around to Sam's side and opened the door.

"Sam?"

He shook Sam, but he didn't respond.

"Sam!"


	4. Chapter 4

He was burning. Screaming. Crying.

There was nothing but the fire. Nothing but the pain.

Suddenly, it was gone and Sam realized Dean was yelling at him and shaking him.

"Dean?"

The shaking stopped, but Sam could feel that Dean's hands were shaking, showing he was scared. Or he had been.

"Sam? God, Sammy. Are you okay?"

"I-I...I...I don't-...," Sam babbled. He had no idea.

"I s-saw.."

"You saw? Sam? What did you see?"

"Fire," Sam squeaked.

"Fire? What do you mean?"

"H-Hell's fire," Sam whispered.

Silence. "You saw Hell?"

Sam nodded.

"Okay, Sam, we're going down to Bobby's."

Sam swallowed and nodded to show he heard and agreed.

Dean shut Sam's door and Sam heard Dean's footsteps crunch on the gravel and then his door open.

Sam heard the clink of keys and the the rumble of the engine.

As much as Sam hated being blind, he couldn't help but notice how all of his other senses were keener. Sharper.

* * *

The ride was long and tiring, but it was durable.

Sam was sealed up completely, an emotionless wall of iron.

Dean was almost at the end of his rope.

Bobby welcomed them in with open arms, letting the boys have everything at hi disposal.

Sam was content to sit up in his room that he had to share with Dean, and just sit there.

"He still up there?" Bobby asked.

Dean nodded.

"Cut 'im some slack, boy. He's been through hell so this ain't exactly scoring on the positive list."

"I know, Bobby, but he won't say a damn thing, he just _sits _there."

Bobby sighed and pursed his lips. "I know, but you know he'll bust up eventually. You just gotta be there when he does."

Dean nodded again.

"Listen, I gotta go on a few runs for some friends; owe 'em some favors."

"We'll be fine, Bobby."

* * *

"Sam?"

Sam raised his head.

"How you doin'?"

Sam shrugged nonchalantly. "M'fine."

"Sam," Dean began.

"Don't," Sam said.

Dean sat down at the edge of the bed. "Don't what?"

"Just don't."

Dean looked at him. "Why? You can't clam up forever."

Sam laughed bitterly. "I can try."

"Sammy, I get it. I do. I've been to Hell, I know what it's like."

Sam 'looked' at him.

"You say that. You always say that. But you don't, Dean. You don't at all. Dean, you couldn't possibly know what it was like."

Dean blinked twice. "No? Then explain it to me."

Sam's face went pale.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"I-It's not that I can't, it's just..."

"It's okay, Sammy," Dean said gently.

"You can tell me."


	5. Chapter 5

"Lucifer, he..he would look like you to torture me."

Dean immediately felt sick.

"He would cut me, skin me, burn me, drown me. He had time, Dean, time to do whatever he wanted."

Dean swallowed.

"T-Time in the Cage goes a bit faster than in Hell."

Dean swallowed hard. "How long?"

"A while."

"Sam. How long?"

"180 years."

Dean was speechless.

"H-He did everything you could imagine, Dean. Including.."

The last word was a horrified whisper.

"Sam? What?"

"You wanted to know why I thought I deserved this?" Sam's voice cracked and his face held more pain than Dean had ever seen.

"Yes."

Sam was quiet for a time. A long time.

"C-Can you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"C-Can you promise not to hate me?" Sam whispered.

Dean was shocked. How could he possibly hate him?

It again fueled his curiousity.

"I promise, Sammy."

Again Sam was quiet, the internal struggle written all over his features.

Dean waited for Sam to speak.

"H-He made me uncleaner than I already was," Sam croaked.

Tears were polling and nearly spilling over onto his face at that one sentence.

Sam looked so fragile, shaking with fear and pain.

"How?" Dean asked softly.

Sam's face crumpled instantly.

"H-He..r...ra-" Sam could only get that part out, but with a slam, Dean understood and pulled Sam into his arms, and Sam completely melted, sobbing and trembling with the force of his tears.

Sam was unable to say that he was raped.

Dean never felt like he did a that moment.

Angry, hell yes. Sad? Damn straight. But Dean was swallowed in an emotion he couldn't process.

"I don't hate you, Sammy. You're my little brother and I could never hate you," he murmured as any control Sam had collapsed.

Sam kept crying.

And Dean had no problems with staying there and holding him.

* * *

"Bobby, you found anything?"

Bobby sighed.

"Dean, as far as I know, if you killed the guy who spelled Sam, he shouldn't be blind."

Dean threw his hands up in the air. "I swore he wouldn't stay this way!"

"You think I'm not trying, boy?!"

Dean exhaled, trying to calm himself. "No, I know, Bobby, I just...I don't know what to do."

Bobby clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"I know, Dean."

Then he looked at him.

"Dean...did you burn the body?"

Dean froze.

* * *

"Dean?"

Dean turned around from where he stood in front of the trunk.

Sam was on the porch steps, trying to feel his way towards his brother.

"Sam, what are you doing out here?" Dean asked gently, reaching for Sam's elbow.

"I-I'm going with you."

Dean shook his head. "No way, little brother."

Sam's face scrunched.

"Dean, _please_. You can't go out there alone."

"The kid's right, Dean," Bobby said, coming up to the pair, shoes crunching on the gravel.

"Bobby-"

"Dean, you shouldn't go out alone, especially against the ghost of a warlock."

Dean looked at Bobby. "What if the ghost shows up? Try's to go after Sam again. He needs someone to be there with him."

Bobby huffed. "Fine, boy. But don't be doin' anything dumb, ya idgit."

Dean chuckled. "Naw, me?"

Sam frowned. "Dean.."

"Sam, I'll be fine."

"_Please_."

"...okay."

Dean took a step back and Sam immediately tried reaching for him.

"Dean?"

"I'm right here, Sam. Let's go back in, 'kay?"

Dean and Bobby exchanged glances.

Sam seemed to pick up on the two, because he looked a little wary as Bobby steered him toward the house again.

Dean walked behind them for a bit before retreating back to the Impala.

Sam heard footsteps walking away, and he tried turning around, but Bobby held him firmly.

Sam started to panic. "Dean?"

No response.

"Dean?"

Dean opened the front door to the Impala, and Sam heard it.

"Dean?!"

Dean felt guilty. Hearing his brother killed him. BUt he was determined to fix things.

Sam thrashed and tore himself away from Bobby.

"Sam-"

Sam stumbled back onto the road and the Impala pulled away.

"Dean!"

Dean looked up into the rearview mirror and felt his heart tug.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Dean.."_

"Yeah?"

...

"Bobby, what? Is Sam okay?"

_"Good question."_

"What the hell does that mean?"

_"Sam's locked himself in his room and barricaded the door. He won't talk to me."_

"He _barricaded _the door?"

_"Yeah. I don't know what he's gonna do when you get back."_

"Bobby, I'm helping him. I won't let him stay that way."

_"I know. But we lied to him, Dean. He's been through enough crap to not take well to it."_

"I know. I'll call you when I'm done."

* * *

"Sam?"

He knew it was Bobby trying to get him to open the door.

But a dresser and a bed in front of it usually makes it stay shut.

He didn't want to talk anyway.

"Sam, he's doing this for you."

He gritted his teeth.

His head cocked as a snap came from the corner of the room.

Frigid air crept across Sam's shoulders from where he sat against the wall.

The cold seeped into his clothes.

Shit.

He bolted upright and tried to feel around, but there was no weapon nearby, the duffel was still downstairs and there were no iron pokers up here.

The wisp of a finger brushed at the back of his neck.

_Shit._

* * *

Dean cautiously stepped inside, lighter fluid in one hand, shotgun filled with rock salt in the other.

He walked quietly through one room and into another.

"Don't hide. "

Dean flinched.

What the hell?

"I have something I think you'd like to have back."

Dean swallowed.

"Yeah? What's that?" he asked as he stepped into the room holding the body.

"Your brother."

* * *

"Sam!"

Sam was sitting against the wall next to the body, tied up and frightened.

Dean dropped everything but the gun and ran forward.

The warlock appeared in front of him, hand raised and finger poised to touch Sam's face.

"Stop. One move, or your try to shoot me, and I'll kill him."

Sam twitched at the sound of the voice being close to him.

Dean froze. "Okay. Let's not be hasty, then."

The warlock grinned at him. "Agreed."

Dean nodded, plan already there and ready to be executed.

Sam frowned, and somehow, he 'looked' right at Dean.

And he knew.

Sam rolled away and Dean fired off a shot, the warlock disappearing with a shriek.

Dean lunged toward the body, dumping fluid on it, and quickly lighting it up.

There was a feral scream, along with a flash of orange and red.

Dean panted.

"Sam?"

Sam tried to sit up.

Dean came over, checking Sam's condition before he even knelt down beside him , pulling at the rope knots and unbinding him.

Dean pulled Sam to his feet.

"You okay?"

Sam nodded.

Dean kept a watch on his face, waiting for the cloudiness in his eyes to vanish.

He waited to actually see those hazel eyes again.

Sam blinked.

Then again.

"Sam?"

Sam hissed in pain, doubling over and pushing both hands into his eyes as his knees buckled.

"Sam! Hey, you alright? Sam?"

Sam groaned and then slowly took his hands away.

His long hair obscured his eyes from view

Dean was about to ask Sam to look at him but a series of gasps growing in volume told him halted him.

Sam raised his eyes.

They were clear.

Sam looked at Dean in shock.

Then he stared at him.

Dean grinned, and a smile spread across Sam's face.

Not those, I'm-glad-things-aren't-too-shitty grins, no.

It was those rare 'I'm happy' smiles.

Dean missed those.


End file.
